"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands"
- Isaiah 49:16
God is good. I was recently so blessed to have a group of Canadian muzungos come out to Uganda. We were so close...practically family. Actually, quite a few of us were. I am still so amazed at how God did work in each of our lives over the past few weeks. To be able to watch and take part as our hearts break and then how God restores is more than incredible. I wish time could have slowed down a little.
Upon returning home from Kampala, I was met with a few very happy faces of my house momma's who were thanking me over and over again for returning to them and not joining the team back to Canada. Although, I am so happy to be back in Gulu for the next few months...and feel I am torn between my home here and that back in Canada. However, I am so greatful that I have two places to call home. I know those who recently left Uganda feel the same way.
Since the team has left I have returned to a rather quiet household though...all that remains is me. It will take some time to get used too. However, with holidays ending and school beginning again next week...I will have enough to keep me busy.
This morning I had one of my youth Dixon stop by my house. He has been stuck in Kampala for the past 4 months and just last night returned to Gulu. After hearing of his adventures (not good ones) in the city, I found myself with an aching inside. Life can be too hard here. If I feel the least bit lonely now a days...my kids feel it tens times that amount. It is difficult to listen to the pain hidden within a 16 year olds voice...if it weren't his attempt to be strong, I'm sure the tears would have gotten the best of him.
So what do I do?
I think this is something I struggle with daily. I know the team that went home last week struggled with these feelings of helplessness...being one person in a crazy huge and broken world. I'm a rather small person and on days like this I feel the smallness of my size. And yet God is so beyond faithful.
Isaiah 49:16, says that we are engraved in the palms of his hands...not just written in ink that washes off after time, but carved into his being. On days when things are just too overwhelming, I need to be reminded that the people of Uganda and the rest of the world are engraved in His hands. He sees the need. He hears the cries. And just as we feel the pain of those who have touched our lives, he knows that pain.
I love knowing that God is not a god, but he is familiar with ALL of our ways. Those thoughts we try to hide and are constantly pushing down inside...He knows all of them.
"You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me"
Psalm 139:5
Be surrounded in His outragious love. Even in the storm or desert...be still and know He is God.
He has your back, front and both sides. All He is asking of you is to abide.
Be blessed,
Janessa
